WIR SIND UMGEZOGEN!!!!!

[ShadyLady]

Tja, mal wieder was neues von mir, ist ein bissle gesellschaftskritisch und man kann das alles sicher sehen wie man will - das ist halt meine Meinung und manchmal bin ich ein bissle prüde
Ist jetzt nicht gerade ein so toller Text, aber Kommentare sind erwünscht




This is our world

Intro

Old people are on the streets, looking directly in your eyes
They seem to be nice, but in fact they’re just telling you lies
They’re talking about the good old times in which everything was perfect and great
There were no guns, no porn and no bitch got laid (Ha-ha!)
They don’t tell you about the teachers who hit the kids
Also not about those hidden prostitutes with enormous tits
Perhaps they just forgot, but probably they just don’t want to face the fact
The world was never good, and this is just the way that people act
There was violence and crime since the world arose
People kill other people, but what can we do? It’s not the life we chose
We can’t change the world, but we all can help to make it better
With every wasted year it gets a little madder


Hook 2 times


Violence here and violence there
Goddamn, violence seems to be everywhere
Beefing people ruin the mood
People curse and everybody’s rude
Ohh, what’s that? A naked 17 year old girl
Just look around, this is our world



If you visit New York City or Berlin, you shouldn’t go out at night without protection
Because there are many sick people and hurting and killing give them satisfaction
Somebody’s mad and sometimes an innocent has to pay for his life’s pain
In those cities people regularly get hit, stabbed, raped and slain
A young girl is taking a walk in the park with her little dog
It begins to rain, it’s starting to get colder and then there is fog
A big man approaches her and he’s watchin her in a wired way
She panics and tries to run away, tries to save the day
But it’s too late; he catches her and nobody’s there to save that girl
He rapes her and she feels alone on the world
While this is happening somewhere on the earth a young boy is gettin a gun
He’s just 16 years old, but he thinks that it’s fun
At school he has trouble with the teachers and he’s pissed
Older students picking on him, he doesn’t want to accept that pain exists
Today his biggest enemy beat him up after school
He just couldn’t get that someone is in the position to be that cruel
He looks at his gun and knows that he has to use it
When even his father slapped him he was throwing a fit
He take it and went to school as it was a normal day
But he had a terrible plan and wants them all to pay
He’s really usin his gun and kills ten people with it
THIS is our world, just face this shit

Hook 2 times

Violence here and violence there
Goddamn, violence seems to be everywhere
Beefing people ruin the mood
People cuss and everybody’s rude
Ohh, what’s that? A naked 17 year old girl
Just look around, this is our world



2. Verse:


At the kiosk I’m just goin over the newspapers
There are animal books, and magazines with skyscrapers
But I suddenly stop, what the fuck is that? It’s the Playboy
Some lil bitch is lookin at me nastily; in her hand is a sex toy
She seems to be very young, about 18 years old
I am so disgusted that the air suddenly feels cold
I’m lookin at her a little closer and then I see who she is
A popular model, how the fuck could she do this?
She has money, men and fame
But for her it’s probably just a game
A young woman is showing her body to all
She doesn’t require this, but the wrappers just fall
Shit, why act women like that? This isn’t funny
They sell their own grandmother for the glory, I’m sorry
Don’t you all have dignity, havin 20 guys and getting fucked in a lorry?!
That’s the next point; I’m leavin the kiosk passin a school
There are some young guys and one act like a fool
I don’t know what’s wrong with him, but then I’m seein a girly
She’s wearing as well as nuttin with her hair curly
All boys are grabbing her and she receives kisses from these guys
In moments like these a lil decency dies
I can’t understand this, why is she such a dully girl
Just look around, THIS is our world



Hook 2 times


Violence here and violence there
Goddamn, violence seems to be everywhere
Beefing people ruin the mood
People cuss and everybody’s rude
Ohh, what’s that? A naked 17 year old girl
Just look around, this is our world
_________________

[w.white]

gefällt mir gut besonders wieder der hook
_________________

[ShadyLady]

Jo, da achte ich immer drauf besonders für dich
_________________

[Zneck]

naja nich so mein fall, du müsstest doublerhymes machen
ich kann den text schlecht flown, aber ich finds gut das du auf englisch schreibst ^^
_________________


Gegensätze ziehn sich an, Gemeinsamkeiten aus!

[ShadyLady]

Jo, ich bekomm das irgendwie nie hin mir den Doppelreimen, gib mir mal ein Beispiel
_________________

[ShadyLady]

Bissle mehr Feedback wär schön
_________________

[S.Word]

naja technisch halt schwach, aber du schreibst ja auch nich "richtig" sondern nur so mal. inhaltlich kann ich dir in vielen punkten nich zustimmen, quasi der gesamten zweiten strophe aber über meinungen kann man lange diskutieren und am ende hat doch jeder seine eigene

in der ersten strophe versuchst du missstände aufzuzeigen was auch teilweise gelingt, aber teilweise auch etwas platt rüberkommt.. wenn du sagt das er sie vergewaltigt und sie sich so allein dabei fühlt, tust du das zu leicht ab

es is sehr schwer so komplexe und heikle pychische strukturen in nem text mit zwei zeilen zu beschreiben

die hook finde ich cool
_________________

[ShadyLady]

Siehste, sowas nenn ich Feedback

Joa, kann man sehen wie man will, ich kann es nicht ausstehen wenn Frauen sich für Geld ausziehen, aber es stimmt schon, da hat jeder ne eigene Meinung zu


Edi: Du könntest auch mal meinen anderen Text feeden, haste bis heute nicht gemacht...
Würd mich freuen
_________________